The best way to help is to relate and offer relief.
“How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” —Jesus (Matthew 7:4-5)
I think Jesus is suggesting that it’s actually possible to be helpful to someone else with their speck-problem. But after, and only after, dealing with the issues within us that cause us to be offended by the speck in another.
We shift from,
It’s a shift from pointing out to pointing in, then pointing up. “This is how messed up I am. And I’ve found it’s better to…”
If you’re triggered by a speck, bite your tongue. You are triggered because of something in YOU. Find your log. Make peace with their speck. Relate, and you might find that you can actually be helpful one day.